advice · journal

Cractpot Cereal

Once, when I was in Walmart, a cereal aisle disappeared on me. 

I was at the register and the cereal that I was planning on purchasing rang up more expensive than I anticipated.  I politely mentioned to the cashier that the scanner hadn’t registered the sale price and she retorted that it wasn’t on sale.

Now I’m pretty vigilant when it comes to purchasing cereal.  I watch for sales because my husband has raised my children to believe that Cheerio’s and Shreddie’s are staples that work in a pinch not just for breakfast, but for lunch, dinner and snack as well.   Their vessel of choice resembles a pasta bowl and my husband even has a special spoon for consuming his favourite breakfast food en masse.  14317542_10157498290540215_3329832296733777749_nWith a mark up of between 20 and 40% and aggressive advertising campaigns to pay off, prices can be upwards of $8.00 a box, so if you’re not mindful of sales and promotions, it might feel like you’re investing in steaks, not flakes.  The point is, I was pretty darned sure SOMETHING was on sale and if the brand I had chose was regular price,  I was flexible enough to pick up whatever was on sale and crafty enough to slip no name cereal into saved name brand boxes.

I paid for my purchase intent on finding the sale sign, clarifying the subject and exchanging it at customer service, but when I ventured back to the cereal aisle, nothing looked familiar.

I wandered aimlessly, eventually looking more for cameras than cereal, convinced I was the victim of some sort of elaborate prank.  Needless to say, on that particular day, the cereal manufacturers won, because I left the store confused but with an eight dollar box of Special K under my arm, and a little bit of a grudge in my heart.  I still don’t know what happened.  I had three small kids, dark circles under my eyes and my brain certainly had an excuse for back firing, but as ridiculous as it sounds, since that time, I’ve maintained the belief that Walmart cannot be trusted.  Obviously, if you asked me if I truly believed that an entire cereal aisle just disappeared I can logically tell you that it didn’t.  I was tired; rushed and  my mind was obviously playing tricks on me; and yet I’m still left with this slight feeling of betrayal. 

Obviously the heart has a hard time accepting the truth.

Girl friends have all spent an evening over ice cream consoling a bestie that is waiting for some sort of confirmation from the object of their affections.   We offer imaginative solutions as to why they haven’t called.  They might have lost the number, they might have had a family emergency or maybe they weren’t hugged enough as children and therefore have problems reaching out and communicating.  Hollywood has even chipped in and provided us with delightful romantic comedies to fuel the fire when it comes to making ingenious excuses. 

Now, I’m a big supporter of sweet dessert and quixotic plot lines for that matter, but eventually, reality must be faced.  The New York best seller, He’s Just Not That Into You flew off the shelves and grossed 180 million dollars and introduced a little logic into the fairy tales women are programmed to create. hes_just_not_that_into_you_cover The self help guide targeted single women and reminded us that if a guy really wants something he is going to make an effort to attain it.  If he isn’t, you need to come to terms with the fact that he’s just not that in to you and move on to someone who is.

If you are very lucky, one day, you find them.  

Your waiting and high standards pay off and excitement and adrenaline have you sprinting to the finish line feeling like a movie star in a white dress and stars in your eyes.  You buy a house and have babies and start to wonder why you keep shaving your legs and investing in sexy bra and underwear sets, when one of you can’t stay awake after their head hits the pillow and even if they could, the other can’t get their mind off the to do list that appears on the ceiling like a neon light as soon as it gets dark.   All of a sudden you’ve rebounded with your old flame Ben and Jerry’s to ration out reasons to wait for some sort of confirmation from the object of your affections.  They are working a lot of hours, the dating fund has been dissolved to help support the after school activities trust and they probably weren’t hugged enough as children and therefore have problems reaching out and communicating.  You don’t know what happened.  You have 3 kids, dark circles under your eyes and a brain that certainly has an excuse for backfiring.  Obviously if you ask me if I truly believe that the love of a life time could just disappear I can logically tell you that it didn’t.  I know that I’m tired, rushed, and my mind is obviously playing tricks on me and yet I am still left with this slight feeling of betrayal.  There are moments when I wonder if I’ve been tricked into investing more into this box of cereal than it’s worth. 

The self help books for married women have all changed their tune.  When they were once the rallying call to lay down your excuses and recognize that  you deserve maximum effort, maxresdefaultthey now talk about making concessions and practicing empathy. 

Understandably the heart has a hard time determining what the truth is. 

Now, I don’t want this post to leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth; marriage can still be sugary sweet with berries on top,kelloggs-cereal-print-ad-1960

and while life might not be a fairy tale, I did find my prince charming, complete with the castle and all the treasures they hold.  It would just be nice if Prince Cractpot would get off his butt and do something heroic like sweep me off my feet and ride me off into the sunset…or you know, replace the toilet roll once and a while.   In return I promise to move him to the top of my to do list.  

Until then, I’ll be here with my ice cream and a cup of tea.  All my bestie’s are welcome to join me

T

A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things: 1 – Women, 2 – Fractions ~Melchor Lim

 

 

 

 

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