My husband and son are into superhero movies. We have watched them all. Due to how emotionally invested I become with someone else’s reality (even if that someone else is a fictional character) I am rather restricted with what I am able to watch. It can’t be too sad, it can’t be too scary, the message should be uplifting and the good guys have to win. Superhero movies match the criteria.
In modern popular fiction, a superhero is a type of heroic character possessing extraordinary talents, supernatural phenomena, or superhuman powers and is dedicated to a moral goal or protecting the public. Which is important…I mean you wouldn’t want someone with supernatural phenomena and superhuman powers with a misfiring moral compass but really, having a super hero protect the public is kind of like having a red seal chef be responsible for making breakfast. It’s appreciated, but sort of expected; it is after all your speciality.
Now, the first time one of my kids made me weak instant coffee and a toaster strudel, I savoured that meal like it was haute cuisine and promptly decided that I need to redefine the word superhero. Regardless of their lack of tights and capes, I was obviously within their midst (anyone that bring me caffeine and sugar in bed is a hero to me) and there are more of you out there than you think.
Even the original definition encompasses a larger group of people than Hollywood would have you believe. If I consider myself an ordinary person (a bit of a stretch I know, but for arguments sake, let’s go with it) then anyone who has skills above and beyond mine, is therefore extra ordinary and to me, super. Parallel parking, being able to answer math questions without using fingers, and calmly answering the phone every time it rings (even when they have no idea who is on the other end) are all characteristics that amaze and impress me.
Ms. Sassy over at SassandSauce posted about her journey in joining the 36 million North Americans that wear contact lenses. My own personal experience in wearing fashion contacts involved standing in the bathroom with my mouth open (because for some reason I felt that keeping my mouth open might inspire my eyes to follow suit) tears streaming down my face until I can’t see, asking my husband, “Is it in?”
My husband might also be an honourary hero for being able to keep a straight face while answering, “No” and peeling the wayward lens off my eyelid so that I could start again. The victory of finally succeeding was rather overshadowed by the puffy bloodshot eyes, runny nose and the knowledge that at some point I had to scrape these things back off my eye balls. Consequently contact lens wearers everywhere have secured Superhero status in my books.
Finally, full time working mothers are the superest, super heroes of them all. I don’t know how you do it. I am lucky enough to work around my kids schedule and it still can get a little hectic, but at the end of the day, I get to spend the majority of my time hanging out with my little cracTpots. My husband is not so lucky. The kids and I have formed this exclusive little clique and it’s not that we’re snobs but we do have a way of doing things; shared history, inside jokes, we finish each other’s sentences and then there’s the secret handshake … well, we might have unintentionally put up a tiny bit of a wall, but with a little effort we’d be happy to have him…but where do you find the time? When my husband and I first met, I was an insecure little girl trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. He gave me confidence, but more importantly he gave my life direction in the shape of three beautiful babies. The four of us experienced first steps together, theirs literal, mine figurative, but side by side, down this wonderful path called parenting and I’ve never looked back. Not once. Not even to notice that my husband wasn’t keeping up.
How could he? He was working full time and parenting part time, I was parenting full time and working part time. Both of us had our priorities and neither of us put our relationship at the top of the list. 16 years later we happen to look up and notice we’ve drifted and become different people. The problem with sacrificing a full time salary for a part time income means that our budget doesn’t support one on one sessions. We get a family vacation or a couples retreat, but we have to choose.
While I was surrounded by toddlers and starving for adult conversation, I was desperate for date nights but he was busy trying to get established in his career. Now that he’s ready to bridge the gap I’m hanging out with these really cool people who have grown up with me and when he suggests a night at the theatre, all I can think is, “Wow, the kids would LOVE that!” My husband gets designated to 5th wheel. Unfortunately, we’re not the only ones struggling. As it stands, everyone has to sacrifice something. Be it work, family, spouses or friends; it’s hard to have it all.
I think relationships need corporate sponsors. A Mother who is run off her feet working full time and trying to manage the basic demands of parenting just needs a few hours off to help her child master chemistry. “This A+ in science brought to you by MasterCard. Some thing’s money can’t buy, for everything else, there’s Mastercard”.
For the stay at home Mother who doesn’t have money or energy to invest in dating, “this 16 year wedding anniversary moment is brought to you by Kay’s Jewellers. Every kiss begins with K” and “L’Oreal, because you’re worth it!”
The point is, they say it takes a village to raise a child but who does it take to maintain a relationship? Maybe a superhero. All I need to do is find some tights, a cape and maybe a mask to hide the dark circles under my eyes and I might have myself a sexy little date night, but until then…”Netflix; interesting, so you don’t have to be”
In all seriousness, the Beatles claim, “love is all you need”, but I think time and money goes a long way in helping things along. To everyone struggling to make ends meet with what they have, I raise my teacup to you. Remember to always be yourself…
Unless you can be Batman, then always be Batman.
You’re much stronger than you think you are. Trust me~Superman