The Tweeting Tpot

I clearly remember the first time my husband introduced me to Facebook.  He had mentioned it before, but his role in our relationship was to get excited about new technology and my role was to sit in my rocking chair and grumble about how ‘we didn’t need all these new fangled things in my day’ (and not over think why a girl in her early 30’s was using words like new fangled).  I finally logged on as our oldest celebrated her 8th birthday with her first sleepover.  Several years earlier, to prevent her from including her entire kindergarten class, some genius suggested we implement a rule stating she could only invite the number of friends equal to the age she was celebrating.  While it worked beautifully initially, I obviously had been too overtired to think it through to this stage of the game.  After several trips up and down the stairs I discovered the only way to get 9, over stimulated 8 year old girls to sleep, is to sit and stare at them

I didn’t feel a bed time story was appropriate


and quietly staring at a bunch of squirming kids pretending to sleep, is about as exciting as it sounds. 


This is how we met Facebook, because anything had to be more entertaining than this. But oh how I misjudged you. 

I never understood the expression, “curiosity killed the cat” but I do know that there are people with zero tolerance for them.  I have been called nosy, and I can sheepishly admit to sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong, but as Ellen Parr is credited as saying, “the cure for boredom is curiosity.  There is no cure for curiosity.”  

Happily, cat’s have 9 lives and Facebook became my partner in crime.  I could peruse all your pictures, sympathize with your statuses and share in your shares, all in the safety of anonymity.  It was love at first sight. 


Unfortunately Facebook began to face criticism among women fed up with the constant barrage of filtered photos and happily ever afters.  Women forgot that although there are times when life kicks you and you just hide out in bed eating ice cream and licking your wounds,  there are also times when life kicks you that you slap on some war paint and fake it until you make it. 


Facebook is the physical embodiment of that.  A goal you can pin to your wall; a reminder of how great we can be when the kids aren’t fighting, you just got your hair done, and you chose your outfit based on what looks good, rather than what you found on the floor of your room.   Bitterness only ensues when you forget that although a picture is worth a thousand words, on most days, for most of us, half of them are profanities.  My blog is a reminder that failure is still thriving. 

“Screwing up, so you don’t have to.”

So if Facebook is the scrap book memorializing my life at it’s best, and blogging is my confessional when I fail, what roles do other types of social media play?   Instagram is for those who prefer diagrams to words and SnapChat is for content so sensitive that the message must self destruct after reading it, like the pact at the end of the Hangover movie.   Twitter however, is something I struggle to understand.  The new terminology of hashtags and tweets is not even the biggest barrier. 

“The first rule of Twitter is: You do not talk about Twitter”

…er…wait, I think I’ve got my rule books mixed up.  The first rule of twitter, is that you are limited to 140 characters. 

Now a friend in University use to follow the Weight Watchers program and because she was amazing and fully committed to whatever she decided to take on, could rattle off the points for almost anything I put in my mouth.  The incredible talent needed for this program is not only the will power to avoid some of your favorite foods, or a photographic memory to keep track of the point system but also the accounting skills required to figure out your meal plan for the day. 

You start your day with 25pts, so skip the chocolate dip donut and settle for a bagel (-6pts) Add peanut butter for the protein (-5pts) and then have the obligatory 2 cups of coffee so you don’t murder anyone on the way to work (-8pts)  Be a super hero and order a salad for lunch with croutons (-3pts) and dressing (-3pts) and…wait, what do you mean I can’t eat for the rest of the day???

I clearly remember her eating only celery (0 pts dahlings) so that when we went out dancing later she could enjoy a few drinks.  And don’t even think of sipping something pretty with an umbrella in it like Tequila Sunsets (5pts each).   Tequila, for health reasons, must be shot straight (only 1pt! Cha-ching!) Just don’t think about what all that salt is doing to your heart.  While I didn’t have the will power to stick to celery, I showed my solidarity with the tequila.  Thank you Weight Watchers for the memories, even if they are a little fuzzy.

The point is, these lessons taught me that I was not cut out for dieting and twitter is like a diet for the verbose. 

“Join twitter and you too can be a svelte and succinct story teller.  Leave tangents, and long winded tales behind and make your point in 140 characters of less.” 

Yeesh, it’s taken me 1000 words just to admit I battle with character counting, don’t get me started on last Wednesday!  Clearly I have a lot to learn, but thankfully Twitter is looking to be more inclusive with a new all you can tweet rule sure to satisfy even the chattiest of Cathy’s.  Still, “the most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.”* so join me in challenging myself to live life in 140 characters or less.  I won’t lose all the characters I want in a week, I might not lose the characters I want in a month, but I can keep trying and not give up.  Follow me, and join my support group geared to helping me reach my tweeting goals.  Don’t forget, nothing sounds as good as tweeting feels…or something like that.

 #trainandtransform #TwitterTips  #tweetingTpot


If you bring that sentence in for a fitting, I can have it shortened by Wednesday. ~M*A*S*H, Hawkeye, “The Gun”

*quote by Thomas Jefferson





3 thoughts on “The Tweeting Tpot

  1. Drowning in social media – sometimes I feel it’s all too much. Just about balancing instagram and wordpress at the moment (and I’m not even 30). I so prefer reading a book and chatting in person…and of course having tea while at it 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m not so good at face to face meetings. I get nervous, and open my mouth and drown people in the flood of words. Making a point is difficult to me without an extensive editing process that real life doesn’t provide. Thankfully my husband and children have become fluent in crazy talk and sometimes act as interpreters (or at least distractions)

      Liked by 1 person

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